Posts Tagged ‘being terrified’

What can I say?

The last few weeks have been difficult, but fun and exciting and new. The new job is great. Scary, some might even say terrifying at times—but really, really great. I think I’m only terrified because when it comes right down to it, I’ve never had a “job.”

I’ve had gigs. I’ve had website “jobs.” I’ve had consultation “jobs” but never have I been receiving a steady paycheck. Never have I been given a company email.

I’m twenty. Sometimes I still think I’m sixteen and sleep in a loft bed. But I don’t. I sold it on craigslist. I can legally drive.

One day you just wake up and you’re in a bed that has all four legs on the floor and you really can just fall out of it if you roll the wrong way.

I never really thought too much about money until I had it. Now I realize this was a great hindrance on my ability to do any type of math. Now I can calculate a twenty percent tip in my head– because it’s coming out of my checking account.

And I’m saving my money—really, actually saving it. In a savings account. Sure, I’ve had a saving account for a few years now. There was just never anything stable in it. Now I put money it and it stays there.

Like permanently.

I’m even starting to do my own taxes.

When do these things start happening? Next thing you know I’ll have my own apartment and insurance plan. Next thing you know I’ll be graduating with my degree. I realized today I only have about one more semester left! When did that happen? Why didn’t anyone put it on my Outlook calendar?

2010: You Become a Grown Up Around 8:30 AM Every Morning.

I have a lot of growing up to do still. I’m sure there is lots of time left to make mistakes and watch the Disney Channel. It just sneaks up on you, I think, being an adult. One second you’re flipping the remote to Hannah Montana and all of a sudden, you find your other hand is paying your Visa bill.